Bruised Dark Blue
by Dwight4Studly
Summary: Sirius realizes his feelings for Remus for the first time. Slash. Newly added epilouge as well.
1. The Beginning

**Bruised Dark Blue**

A.N./ Yeah, so I haven't written anything in a long time. I was listening to Jack's Mannequin, mostly Dark Blue and Bruised, thus the title. Hope you guys like it. If you do, please review! That'd be just dandy.

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He could feel Remus' hair running wild through his fingers. It smelled fresh and clear blowing in the cool autumn wind. The grass beneath him felt dry and it crackled beneath his weight. He must have dozed off because his eyes were still closed and he didn't feel like opening them again. All he needed was to feel Remus atop him, hear the sweet melody of his breath. That hot breath brushed his neck and it sent shivers down his spine. As every vertebra clicked into place everything seemed to make sense, every problem he could think of had an answer and there were no more worries. A pair of lips tickled the junction of his neck and shoulder and he couldn't help but suppress a gasp. Sirius saw a burst of color behind the lids of his eyes and his toes suddenly went numb. Those soft lips timidly made their way to his cheek, to his chin, to his lips. His tongue flattened against the roof of his mouth and he sucked in breath through his nose and the sweet smell of leaves hinted the moment. And, tortuously, tenderly, those lips hovered barely above his own. His chest was on fire with need and he gripped Remus' arms, trying to bring him unfathomably closer but the boy wouldn't budge.

That thin body rested gently against his, teasing him. Those lanky legs tangled with his own, elbows cradling his head. Remus ran his long fingers through Sirius's hair, twisting the black locks down to his knuckles. Sirius could stay there forever, feel their chests rise and fall in unison, lips slight and wonderful against one another. With a last woosh of breath, Remus whispered, smooth and clear, "Open your eyes."

When he did he looked up at James' wide eyes, bewildered behind those rimmed glasses. "What the bloody hell do'you think you're doing, Sirius! Le'me go!"

Sirius recoiled against his bed, his head reeling. For a moment he couldn't even recognize where he was and panic set within his chest. Through the haze he could hear his friends and he calmed and tried to open his eyes, the lids heavy and unyielding.

"Are you okay, Sirius? Did you have a nightmare?" he heard a voice beyond his blurred vision. It was soft with worry and caused an ache in his stomach, though he could not place why. He sat up groggily, rubbing the back of his neck; it was hot to the touch, as if he were blushing profusely. He barely heard his own mumbling when he suddenly realized that James was sitting heavily on his legs with Remus and Peter standing behind him. His feet began to deaden and it felt as if tiny daggers were poking his tender flesh. His legs twitched but James didn't seem to notice nor care.

"Wha's going on?" he asked, blinking the sleep out of his eyes.

"You had a nightmare," Peter piped up, nearly jumping over James' shoulder to be seen, shouting to be heard.

"No joke, mate," James said, giving him a weird look. "You grabbed me and tried to hug me. What the hell scared you that badly?"

Sirius kicked him off of his bed, swinging his legs over his mattress. "I … I can't remember," he said thinking hard of what he could possibly scare him to the point of grabbing James. He looked around the room, as if it would hold the answer. Finally, he looked at the clock on his bedside and he jumped up in surprise. "Why did you let me sleep 'til three in the afternoon?"

"We tried waking you up six times! Do you even remember what day it is?" Remus asked. Sirius could hear hurt in his voice, however slight it was, and thought. His brow furrowed in deep concentration. A few moments ago he couldn't even remember his first name let alone what day it was, but for the life of him he couldn't remember why this day was any more important than any other.

"Um … Sunday?" He replied weakly.

"Full moon tonight," James said, looking at him quizzically. "Did you just not sleep last night? You never forget full moon. Wait … Did someone slip you something or did you just suddenly become more dense than usual?"

James' constant playful questioning didn't help his self doubt and he turned to shout at him to quiet when he saw Remus, who was sitting on his bed. Guilt washed over Sirius like a bucket of iced water and he apologized to Remus. He never forgot when the full moon was. He was actually the one who would be the constant reminder, trying to make Remus feel even the slightest better. He couldn't think what could cause him to forget such an event. He honestly couldn't remember what had kept him up last night and what he had just dreamed. All he could remember was hot breath and nothing more but total darkness. Possibly it was the anticipation of the night's actions. Or, perhaps, it was the nightmare he was having lately of Remus turning on him and biting him in his moment of exposure. He was so deep in thought that he only just noticed James discussing the night's events with the group. In the middle of James's plans, Sirius remembered that he was still standing dumbly at his trunk and Remus looked at him strangely. He pulled on a pair of worn jeans and tried to think of something else but he couldn't keep his eyes from wandering over to Remus the rest of the afternoon.

He was still thinking of what he had dreamt of when night fell. Three of them walked down to the shack where Pomfrey had left Remus waiting. "What is wrong with you, Sirius? You've been wandering around all afternoon like an effing zombie," James said indignantly. He jumped him from behind, ruffling his hair. "Wake up, Black!"

"Get off of me, you prat," Sirius said, smoothing his hair back.

"That's not what you were saying this morning. Hmn … It's a girl, isn't it, huh? Any young thing catch your attention? She ready to take you away from us, giving your hot and heavy dreams at night." James questioned annoyingly, a bounce leading his step. Undoubtedly he was referring to Lily in the process, putting himself in a good mood.

"Maybe," he contemplated seriously. That must be what he was dreaming of. He pictured a faceless, soft woman sprawled across his chest, her breath fanning across his face. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. That would explain the breath, the feeling of weightlessness, the blush on his neck the next morning. Except, there seemed to be something missing that he couldn't quite explain. Maybe it was the identity of the girl. He thought of every girl he had ever pined after and none of them caught his immediate attention.

When they reached Remus' changing room they found that he had already stripped bare and was sitting against the wall with his legs pulled to his chest and ankles crossed. He shivered from the cold draft and Sirius felt a blush creep up his neck, spinning around to avert his gaze. No matter how many times he had been in this situation he could never bring himself to look at Remus' naked form. It seemed to be the last strand of dignity that the boy had and Sirius couldn't bear to take that away from him in his eyes.

"It's going to be early tonight," Remus said, his voice hoarse. His tone frightened Sirius for a moment and he knew that tonight was going to be rough. Possibly it was his fault. If he had remembered the day he could have saved Remus that irritation. The thought left him empty with further shame. This was the only night that Remus was at his most vulnerable and Sirius let him down. Sure, he was just his friend, but he seemed more important, especially tonight of all nights.

The anticipation was thick in the room as the boys waited for that dreaded moment. James made small talk, taking off his shoes, setting them next to Remus' clothes on the top shelf. "So I was thinking that I would try a new tactic. Girls love flowers, right? So I was thinking that I could get one of her friends to set some on her bed and I would jump out when she …" But he was cut off by the sound of soft moaning. Sirius turned to see Remus shivering, a fresh coat of sweat shimmering on his bare shoulders. He thought at first he was just going to be sick, so he began to reach over to him, to comfort him in any way he could, until James stopped him. Remus' shivers turned to tremors, which was their cue to change.

Remus began to growl, a sound deep within his throat, and his body began to shake and bend inhumanly. The last thing he saw was the flash in Remus' eyes, boiling gold, before everything turned monotone around him. He ran to him, growling softly to calm the beast Remus was becoming. Sirius thrust his breast against the boy's chest to prevent him from falling, but with a burst of power, Remus shoved him aside. Sirius hit the wall and mentally winced as Remus crashed to the floor, his mouth breaking his fall. Sirius prayed that he hadn't broken his teeth.

The beast was too far-gone for them to help, so they had to stand on the sidelines and hope for the best. Sirius couldn't suppress a whimper as he watched Remus' body lengthen and morph until the wolf lay huddled on the floor in exhaustion. Sirius became entranced at how the wolf's tawny fur ruffled with every breath, the cool wind brushing against the hot body. Something inside of him clicked and he cocked his head in question, his tail brushing the wall behind him. The wolf stirred and stood reluctantly, shaking out his coat.

Then the ritual began. First the wolf inspected Wormtail and the rat squeaked nervously but did not move. Once the wolf accepted Peter, he moved to Prongs, repeating action. Then was Sirius' turn. He unwaveringly kept the wolf's gaze as it began to touch nose to nose, sniffling his way up his black muzzle. But tonight the wolf leaned into him, chest to chest. His body language softened and Sirius felt his tail begin to sway uncontrollably. Before he knew it, memories began to flood back to him and he knew what his dream was of. He remembered the hot, liquid, boiling feeling of Remus against him and he whimpered, backing away unconsciously.

The wolf growled roughly at the hesitation. Out of a mixture of emotions Sirius had forgotten himself and his ears flattened against his head and his tail tucked between his legs. He rolled onto his back and exposed his belly to the mercy of the wolf. He whined and shut his eyes. However, when the wolf sensed his fellow canine's hint of arousal beneath the fear he licked the dog's muzzle reassuringly. The wolf was calm and sure of his pack. Sirius could not show weakness, so he pushed the startling realization into the back of his head; partially he hoped it would disappear there.

The rest of the night went smoothly and when the morning came they returned to the shack, collapsing on the floor. The wolf curled against Padfoot, his head resting on his paws. Sirius looked down at him dozing before his transformation. The memory still lingered and he started to panic. He couldn't think of Remus like that. It would mean that Sirius was … No, it just couldn't be. It must have been one of those freak things that happens to every young man. It was a phase that would dwindle after he found some girl to snog. But when the wolf began to stir against him, snuggling closer, Sirius' chest hurt with the sheer pleasure he felt in nbjust being beside him. He knew, deep down, that things were more complicated. All he could do was go on as if things were normal.

With that last thought the wolf began to transform and he had to turn his attention to other things.

Later that day, Sirius visited the Hospital Wing. Mrs. Pomfrey was reluctant to let him pass and was fussing over how Remus needed to sleep and he couldn't get too excited with company. She busily shooed him away, so Sirius had to wait while she wasn't looking to sneak past. Remus' bed had gauzy white curtains draped around the frame and when he brushed them away he surveyed the damage from the night's excursions. Remus had looked worse before since the only things he sported were a few scrapes that didn't require stitching and a few bruises that scattered his pale flesh. The only thing that really caught Sirius attention was the dark blue bruise on Remus' bottom lip. He deducted that it was cause by the early fall in the transformation.

His heart raced as he reached a shaky hand out to the sleeping boy and he brushed the spot. His lips were dry and wonderful and it sent spirals in Sirius' stomach twirling. He couldn't believe that overnight his feelings could change so drastically. He supposed, however, that there had always been a special place that Sirius had held him. Maybe it was Remus' vulnerability, but Sirius always knew that he had always felt different about him. He just hadn't known what it was until now.

Now that bruise lingered in his dreams. How he would trace his fingers over it like he had done that day. Sometimes he would kiss it; sometimes his tongue would flicker over it. He memorized the color, the shape, the texture. His obsession over that small imperfection, he realized, now mirrored the bruise that lay on his heart.

A.N./ If you liked it, please review! This was to get back to writing even though school is starting and there won't be time to write then either. I have a ton of ideas, so tell me if I should continue.


	2. The End

Bruised Dark Blue

A.N./ Yeah, so I didn't really plan on writing more to this. What I meant at the end of the story was should I write more in general. But since so many people reviewed (which I GREATLY appreciate) I thought it wouldn't hurt to add one more chapter.

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"Mmn … tell me a story," Remus said, burrowing further into the sheets. Sirius ran the tips of his fingers over the man's bare back, making the werewolf sigh. Today was the first day Remus had moved in with him. Remus didn't believe him when he had asked. He kept asking if he really wanted this; that it would mean that they would have to take their relationship to the next level. What would people say? Would they be able to conceal the fact that they loved each other from the neighbors? But after many kisses and reassurances, Remus accepted. James said it was almost like they were getting married, and Sirius promptly hit him over the head for saying such a thing. He didn't want to think of their relationship as a marriage. More like a deep bond. Something much deeper than anything marriage could ever signify. And it would always stay that way.

They had just finished christening their bedroom … Their bedroom. Theirs. Together. Something, almost liquid, bubbled in his stomach and made its way up to his chest, filling it with plumes of emotion. He would never be able to explain the happiness that Remus always seemed to make him feel, and he knew he would never feel anything else like it. After everything he had to do to wait for this moment he knew that every second was worth the heartache and the pain. Just knowing that Remus felt the same way was enough to make him get up every day.

He thought of a fitting story for their situation. "Well, there was once this boy who was very naughty. So his friend had to teach him a lesson," he replied, nibbling on his ear, smiling against the lobe. He tasted so sweet.

Remus turned his head, allowing Sirius to kiss his mouth instead. Just as Sirius brushed his tongue to his mouth, Remus pulled away teasingly. Remus rather chose to hum contently, turning over on his side to face him. "As tempting as that story is, tell me something about you."

"What about me? You know everything there is to me," Sirius said, perplexed. "Why are you so insistent?" He rested his head on his hand, watching him closely. He had the most beautiful eyes. Their almond shape, brown with just a hint of gold and flecks of green. Every time he looked into them he could find something new. He reached out a hand to swipe a bit of his fringe that hang just so that they blocked his view. Remus leaned into the touch.

"Oh, I don't know," Remus said, fingering the sheets between them. "It just seemed to be the sort of thing you talk about in this situation." He looked up to Sirius, his eyes glowing with happiness but he knew he was more nervous than he had ever seen him. Hard as he tried, Sirius couldn't resist that look. He lay his hand over Remus' fidgeting fingers. He was more anxious than he wanted to reveal and Sirius knew that he needed to expel any doubt.

"What is it you need to know, love …" he brought those fingers to his lips, kissing each and every digit. Remus' eyes hazed over and his mouth hung slightly open. A smile curled to his face and he closed his eyes, thinking deeply about his answer.

"When was it first you knew that you fancied me?"

Sirius stopped, setting his hand down. He ran one finger over Remus' jaw line. Remus opened his eye to look at him curiously, but he stayed silent, waiting for his answer. Sirius smiled, knowing exactly when it was, and leaned forward. "It all started with a bruise …" he brought his finger to Remus' bottom lip and rested it there. "… Here."

"How long ago?" Remus asked, kissing the tip, tracing his lips slowly down his hand to his wrist.

"Oh," he sighed, calculating the years in his head. "Since fifth year." He laughed nervously. "Pathetic, right?"

Remus cooed, brow furrowed. "My god, Sirius. That long? You went an entire three years and didn't tell me?" He shifted closer to him so their legs were entwined, his knees grazing the inside of his thigh, driving him slowly mad.

"No worries, Moony," Sirius said, kissing him reassuringly. "You're here with me now and that is all that matters to me. As long as I have you in my bed, right where I want you, I'll do more than survive." He said this devilishly, bumping their foreheads softly together. He ground their hips together, trying to take his mind off of the subject. But Remus surprisingly pulled away, sitting up, the sheets falling away from his bare body. Why couldn't they just let things lay, Sirius thought, not able to take his eyes away from such a perfect waist. If he were to pull at the sheets just a bit more …

"That must mean that … Tallis! Sirius, not her. I can't believe you sat back and watched me date Tallis Gairden."

A chill ran up his spine at the very mention of her name. He felt a sneer form on his lips, fighting to suppress the bile that was about to come spilling from his mouth. He sat up, acting as nonchalant as he possibly could with stupid Tallis fecking Gairden on his mind. "Oh, I totally forgot about her. What house was she in, again?" He said his with an arrogant air, trying not to meet Remus' eyes.

Remus stared at him pointedly. "You remember damn well what house she was in. And she was a very sweet girl, I just … couldn't date her anymore." Remus said. "I feel sorry that I had to break the poor girl's heart. She really was very nice."

She wasn't very nice when she stomped over to Sirius in private to scream and yell at him for ruining their relationship. Really, all he did was tell a girl or two a secret about her. Something or another about how spiteful she was and how she would date out of, oh, what was the word, pity. How was he to know that Remus hated pity above most things in this world? Oh, and he revealed how much of a whore she was, if he remembered correctly. He really did know a friend of a friend she had slept with on and off … maybe once every week. He remembered every word everything about the day they broke things off. "I hope you rot in hell, Sirius Black, you evil, vile, godforsaken dog! Damn you, you utter piece of shite, utter useless ... Urrgh!" Music to his ears.

"She really didn't know how to form her sentences, though," Sirius said sadly, and Remus looked confused. He didn't even ask.

"You must have hated me during that," he said sheepishly.

"No, no not at all," Sirius said, looking into his face. "I've never hated you. Not once." He kissed his forehead, tucking his soft brown hair behind his ear. Sirius cupped his face in his hands, making sure he knew that he was telling the truth. Remus nodded. Their lips met sweetly once. But as Sirius was pulling away, Remus leaned closer, kissing his top lip over and over again as he ran his hand lightly down Sirius' chest. He felt goosebumps rise on his skin as he realized how very naked and close they were. Remus tongue played in and out of his mouth, licking the roof of his mouth and his bottom lip. Sirius ran his lips down to his ear, where he nipped a few times, and then moving down to his neck. He sucked at the most sensitive places he could think of as Remus' breathing rate began to rise. Remus climbed onto Sirius' lap and their hips met, groins burning as they rocked together as one. They made love once more, untamed and unabashed. They made all the noise they wanted, not caring that the neighbors in the complex would wonder what the commotion was. All that existed was each other, connected, apart, together.

Remus smiled sleepily, laying flat on his back. Sirius followed suit, resting his head on Remus' chest. He counted the beats, listening to them intently as they told him of Remus' love for him. Remus started to run his fingers through his hair, twisting the locks here and there. It was soothing and Sirius breathed deeply, whispering Remus' name every once and a while. Sirius pulled Remus' free hand to his chest, placing right over his own beating heart. It felt as if it was meant to be there as Remus ran his thumb endearingly over his skin. He thought of the bruise that had lingered there for so long. He knew that it would never go away until Remus had loved him back, and for the longest time he never thought it would ever become a reality. Now Remus was lying there with him and he no longer needed to worry about anything. He didn't even need to think. Remus was there and that was the only thing he needed. The bruise on his heart had finally healed over and the only thing that remained was Remus.

A.N./ So, if you liked it, please say so.


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